I think I have to accept the fact I'm depressed, and that I have anxiety issues.
I try to tell myself that it's just bad days, or that it's simply social awkwardness, but this is getting worse and lasting for longer and longer stretches of time.
It's getting to the stage where I don't want to leave the house. Hence why I haven't seen the Avengers. When it first came out I was so ill I could hardly stand, and no I just can't make myself go. Going to work, which used to be my safe place, is a struggle. I just can't get myself to do anything. Not even read.
I want a holiday but I can't justify the cost - and as above, I can't get myself to want to go, though I already want to be there. The anonymity of far-away crowds wouldn't be such an issue, places where they serve hundreds of people a day and I won't be remembered. I go out here and I feel judged and weird and like I bother them by trying to buy something.
Not that I can take a holiday anyway, what with them cutting two positions.
I want my boyfriend but I'm sick of always being miserable and un-fun to be around. It's hurting him by being miserable and there's nothing he can do.
I should go see someone, yet when I have they say I'm fine. If you're not an alcoholic, taking drugs, cutting yourself... you're fine. I don't want to take anything anyway, after hearing the horror stories of the side effects.
I can't even be bothered to read - that's not fine.
I try to tell myself that it's just bad days, or that it's simply social awkwardness, but this is getting worse and lasting for longer and longer stretches of time.
It's getting to the stage where I don't want to leave the house. Hence why I haven't seen the Avengers. When it first came out I was so ill I could hardly stand, and no I just can't make myself go. Going to work, which used to be my safe place, is a struggle. I just can't get myself to do anything. Not even read.
I want a holiday but I can't justify the cost - and as above, I can't get myself to want to go, though I already want to be there. The anonymity of far-away crowds wouldn't be such an issue, places where they serve hundreds of people a day and I won't be remembered. I go out here and I feel judged and weird and like I bother them by trying to buy something.
Not that I can take a holiday anyway, what with them cutting two positions.
I want my boyfriend but I'm sick of always being miserable and un-fun to be around. It's hurting him by being miserable and there's nothing he can do.
I should go see someone, yet when I have they say I'm fine. If you're not an alcoholic, taking drugs, cutting yourself... you're fine. I don't want to take anything anyway, after hearing the horror stories of the side effects.
I can't even be bothered to read - that's not fine.